Ten Ways to Tell If Your Neighbor is Osama bin Laden

10. The wifi access point next door reads: "Al Qaeda 4 Lyfe"
9. As a welcoming gift, your neighbor brought you an apple pie with wires and a cell phone attached to it.
8. When you refused to eat the pie, you were called an infidel.
7. You caught a glimpse of yourself mowing the lawn in the background of his latest video.
6. He introduced his son to you as his 21st child from his 7th marriage.
5. You keep accidentally receiving mail addressed to Guy Incognito.
4. A sniper took out your TV while you were watching President Obama's state of the union address.
3. When the paperboy tossed him a newspaper, his wife dove to protect him.
2. Repeated Craigslist personal ads seeking 72 virgins.

And the number one way to tell if your neighbor is Osama bin Laden...

1. The helicopters landing on your roof at 1 AM.